Well, there’s a question..
I feel contradictory.
I feel happy and contented, yet I’m restless and I want more.
I feel completely motivated, and like I’m lacking drive, all at once.
I feel completely over-whelmed by the task at hand, yet totally in control of my own future.
I feel like running and screaming and jumping and spinning round and round and round. I also want to go to bed and sleep for 3 weeks.
I feel like it’s my fault, even though I’m in the right. And that I should apologise, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.
I feel like I can’t let it go, but letting it go would be the healthiest and most logical path.
I feel creative, and creatively frustrated. Emotional and wordy, yet unable to express myself adequately.
I feel extremely lucky and hugely grateful. But also a little hard done by, and annoyed at my fortune.
I feel nostaligic and romantic and terrific and playful and powerful and strong. Then I feel silly, small, weak and helpless. Completely loved, and then terribly alone.
I feel like a grown up. Then I feel like I’m pretending.
I feel confused yet focused.
I feel everything.
Copyright Tessa Smith. May 17th 2010.