How Do I Feel?

Well, there’s a question..

I feel contradictory.

I feel happy and contented, yet I’m restless and I want more.

I feel completely motivated, and like I’m lacking drive, all at once.

I feel completely over-whelmed by the task at hand, yet totally in control of my own future.

I feel like running and screaming and jumping and spinning round and round and round. I also want to go to bed and sleep for 3 weeks.

I feel like it’s my fault, even though I’m in the right. And that I should apologise, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.

I feel like I can’t let it go, but letting it go would be the healthiest and most logical path.

I feel creative, and creatively frustrated. Emotional and wordy, yet unable to express myself adequately.

I feel extremely lucky and hugely grateful. But also a little hard done by, and annoyed at my fortune.

I feel nostaligic and romantic and terrific and playful and powerful and strong. Then I feel silly, small, weak and helpless. Completely loved, and then terribly alone.

I feel like a grown up. Then I feel like I’m pretending.

I feel confused yet focused.

I feel everything.

Copyright Tessa Smith. May 17th 2010.

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