I discovered a blog I never posted! From June 24th.
So after last week in Pizza on the Park, I realised something. As someone who never thought she was a natural performer, and who suffered from sometimes crippling stage fright when she was young, I’ve always had a strange relationship with the audience. I mean, I love it when I have one, and appreciate so much when people are listening to me and allowing me to be my real self in front of then, but often if no audience is there, or I’m slightly more ‘background’ than fore’, I’m pretty happy regardless. I tend to go a little inward, and focus into the other musicians I’m performing with, which makes for some great musical moments. Case in point – this past Saturday I was performing at a wedding in a beautiful venue just south of Matlock in Derbyshire, and for the soundcheck and first tune or two, the fact that the guests were outside enjoying the last of the day’s sunshine didn’t matter for the music’s sake. In fact, there were some great little moments. When they came inside, a little switch meant they were the focus again.
However, what I realised in London was that occassionally, the need and desire to speak to an attentive audience is so overwhelming it becomes a necessity. I only mention this as it genuinely surprised me! It seems despite the fear of performance and sometimes a knowledge that you can, and want to, do better, I still need those listeners to be there so I perform the way I want. And so thank you to all my audience members, past and future for helping me to be happier, and learn more.
This week, I went up to Hexham to speak to some lower sixth-formers who are planning to study music at University as someone who’s done it and ‘come out the other side’. It was interesting, and enjoyable to talk to them and share my knowledge. Though hard sometimes as they wanted to ask about auditions and student halls and I wanted to tell them all the things about life as a musician I wish someone had told me: it’s hard work, you’ll have to be incredibly driven and business minded as well as having and working on your talent, and you have to be on your guard, as some people are out there just to try and take advantage of you and your skills. I hope I helped them!
Tuesday saw Voices of the Day rehearsing again, and we’ve got a few festivals on the horizon, which is brilliant.
I’m playing the wonderful Epernay on Friday, and heading to near Scarborough on Sunday to sing at a Summer Party. And the summer is actually here! Can’t all be bad.